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Vikings are to blame for Australian skin cancer
Vikings got around !!!
Recently Newfoundland celebrated the one thousand year anniversary of when the Vikings first emigrated to Canada.
(Things were easier back then -- the government had not yet developed those complicated passport forms. )
The Norsemen got around a fair bit. They also visited the British Isles and a fair chunk of mainland Europe. Being a sociable group they left a lot of partially-Viking offspring around much of the old world. This has been causing problems for all those who are related to Vikings, especially if they still do a lot of traveling.
The problem is too much sunlight, which causes skin cancer.
When the Vikings first began invading Ireland about the year 800 they found the island inhabited by a small dark swarthy race called the Tuatha. The Vikings and Tuatha mingled amiably, and produced modern day Irishmen. Those who are tall and blonde or red headed have more of the Viking genes. Those who are shorter and darker – the “Black Irish” are the remnants of the Tuatha.
Leprechauns were not affected by this co-mingling, as there don’t appear to be any female leprechauns, and even the males rarely come out in the broad daylight. So I have never had a leprechaun patient with skin cancer.
The Vikings also traveled east, especially a group called “The Rus”, which seems to be the Finnish word for Swedish Vikings. They had such an influence that one of those eastern countries even became named after them – it was called “Russia”.
Strangely, Ireland has a bit too much sunshine for those of Viking blood. Their paler skin was exposed to more sun than it was designed for, and the result was an increase in skin cancers.
(Things were easier back then -- the government had not yet developed those complicated passport forms. )
The Norsemen got around a fair bit. They also visited the British Isles and a fair chunk of mainland Europe. Being a sociable group they left a lot of partially-Viking offspring around much of the old world. This has been causing problems for all those who are related to Vikings, especially if they still do a lot of traveling.
The problem is too much sunlight, which causes skin cancer.
When the Vikings first began invading Ireland about the year 800 they found the island inhabited by a small dark swarthy race called the Tuatha. The Vikings and Tuatha mingled amiably, and produced modern day Irishmen. Those who are tall and blonde or red headed have more of the Viking genes. Those who are shorter and darker – the “Black Irish” are the remnants of the Tuatha.
Leprechauns were not affected by this co-mingling, as there don’t appear to be any female leprechauns, and even the males rarely come out in the broad daylight. So I have never had a leprechaun patient with skin cancer.
The Vikings also traveled east, especially a group called “The Rus”, which seems to be the Finnish word for Swedish Vikings. They had such an influence that one of those eastern countries even became named after them – it was called “Russia”.
Strangely, Ireland has a bit too much sunshine for those of Viking blood. Their paler skin was exposed to more sun than it was designed for, and the result was an increase in skin cancers.
Vikings go to 'Auz'
The Irish eventually did a bit of traveling of their own, usually due to starvation and grumpy Englishmen. They moved (or were moved ) out to Canada, the U.S.A. and Australia.
Most of the Irish that went to Australia were shipped off to Van Diemen’s Land ( Tasmania ) as convicts.
So a large percentage of the present day population of Australia is descendants of Irish criminals. This explains a lot about modern Australian behaviour and mores.
Most of the Irish that went to Australia were shipped off to Van Diemen’s Land ( Tasmania ) as convicts.
So a large percentage of the present day population of Australia is descendants of Irish criminals. This explains a lot about modern Australian behaviour and mores.
And get too much sun !!!
If Ireland was too sunny for Viking skin, Australia was about the worst place to go. When Viking skin is exposed to a perpetually sunny climate, you get a skin cancer smorgasbord. Two out of every three Australians will eventually come down with some form of skin cancer.
Professional Pallor is perfectly preferable
Doctors and other professionals work too much, which has the advantage of keeping them out of the sun. But then in their off time they cram as much sunshine in as possible on vacations, and get more than their share of sunburns. So a doctor who goes to the beach one week a year may have greater cancer risk than a ditch digger who is out there with his shirt off most of the time. That shows how very bad it is to get a sunburn.
The only ones worse off than doctors appear to be airline pilots, especially the truly Viking ones. Recent studies from Reykjavik show a huge incidence of malignant melanoma (the most deadly type of skin cancer) among Icelandic Airline’s pilots.
According to the principle investigator, Dr. Vilhjalmur Rafnsson, pilots have ten times as much melanoma as the rest of the Icelandic population. If they travel through five time zones the pilots have up to twenty five times the amount of melanomas.
The only ones worse off than doctors appear to be airline pilots, especially the truly Viking ones. Recent studies from Reykjavik show a huge incidence of malignant melanoma (the most deadly type of skin cancer) among Icelandic Airline’s pilots.
According to the principle investigator, Dr. Vilhjalmur Rafnsson, pilots have ten times as much melanoma as the rest of the Icelandic population. If they travel through five time zones the pilots have up to twenty five times the amount of melanomas.
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Avoiding sun exposure...
is essential for prevention of skin cancer. Wearing clothes prevents skin cancer, wrinkles, and presentation of body parts that are best left unseen on most of us.
Sunscreens are controversial. Very few of them screen out all the suns rays (the exceptions are those made from zinc oxides) and they may lead to a false sense of security. Many people slather themselves with sunscreen and then go and lie in the sun for hours in the belief that they are protected. They may actually be worse off in the long run.
Tanning machines are also risky. They concentrate a lot of energy into a short burst, just like a doctor’s holiday, and may be just as risky to your health.
A detailed skin survey – or “mole patrol” can easily be combined with your annual physical examination, is a good way of preventing skin cancers. This is particularly important for those at extra risk. This includes those who have had a lot of sunburns in childhood, those with a lot of unusual looking moles, and those with a family history of skin cancers.
And if you are a Viking airline pilot who flies regularly to the beach, then you should start wearing a tent at birth. (Or move to Vancouver. Or Newfoundland. Or Siberia.)
Dr. Patrick Nesbitt
Sunscreens are controversial. Very few of them screen out all the suns rays (the exceptions are those made from zinc oxides) and they may lead to a false sense of security. Many people slather themselves with sunscreen and then go and lie in the sun for hours in the belief that they are protected. They may actually be worse off in the long run.
Tanning machines are also risky. They concentrate a lot of energy into a short burst, just like a doctor’s holiday, and may be just as risky to your health.
A detailed skin survey – or “mole patrol” can easily be combined with your annual physical examination, is a good way of preventing skin cancers. This is particularly important for those at extra risk. This includes those who have had a lot of sunburns in childhood, those with a lot of unusual looking moles, and those with a family history of skin cancers.
And if you are a Viking airline pilot who flies regularly to the beach, then you should start wearing a tent at birth. (Or move to Vancouver. Or Newfoundland. Or Siberia.)
Dr. Patrick Nesbitt
The Mole Patrol
Volunteers often do this skin cancer surveillance technique on local beaches in the summer time. ( It's a tough job, but somebuddies gotta do it ! )
Mole patrol volunteers look for moles that are enlarging, turning darker, bleeding, becoming angry looking, or that seem to be melting into the surrounding skin.
And then I get to see them and cut them out. And save anything from a bit of skin to a life ! Which is also a good bit of fun.
Mole patrol volunteers look for moles that are enlarging, turning darker, bleeding, becoming angry looking, or that seem to be melting into the surrounding skin.
And then I get to see them and cut them out. And save anything from a bit of skin to a life ! Which is also a good bit of fun.
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