Sex before hockey? ( And hockey before sex ? )
The NHL's latest plan for attracting more women to the sport .....
With the Stanley Cup playoffs underway, the question that I am sure has been burning in everyone's mind for the past few weeks is :
"Should a player 'do-it' the night before a game ? " Does it improve playing or detract from it ? Does anybody know or care ? What da puck ???
First off, I should explain that there has been a long established connection between sex and hockey. According to the "First Original Unexpurgated Canadian Book of Sex and Adventure", by Jeremy Brown and Christopher Ondaatje ( older brother of Michael, for those who are interested ) , and first published in 1979, watching hockey creates a interest in sex. Stirs the libido. Makes one want to put the puck in the net.
"Should a player 'do-it' the night before a game ? " Does it improve playing or detract from it ? Does anybody know or care ? What da puck ???
First off, I should explain that there has been a long established connection between sex and hockey. According to the "First Original Unexpurgated Canadian Book of Sex and Adventure", by Jeremy Brown and Christopher Ondaatje ( older brother of Michael, for those who are interested ) , and first published in 1979, watching hockey creates a interest in sex. Stirs the libido. Makes one want to put the puck in the net.
He shoots he scores...
And adds a whole new and very Freudian interpretation to the phrase "he shoots, he scores". (Efforts by the NHL several years ago to find a new and more politically palatable phrase such as "zing, it's in the string" were a dismal failure. ).
According to authors Brown and Ondaatje, who appeared to have done extensive research on the subject, the most popular time for sex in Canada ( contrary concepts, to be sure ) was immediately after Hockey Night in Canada.
Which is pretty good, since baseball just seems to put people to sleep. And golf...don't even get me started on golf !!!
According to authors Brown and Ondaatje, who appeared to have done extensive research on the subject, the most popular time for sex in Canada ( contrary concepts, to be sure ) was immediately after Hockey Night in Canada.
Which is pretty good, since baseball just seems to put people to sleep. And golf...don't even get me started on golf !!!
The sex factor
Does sex ( or lack of it ) really affect physical performance, or is it all psychological, in which a players belief in the benefits of orgasm or avoidance thereof before the big game is the only deciding factor ?
The question has been studied semi - scientifically. It is difficult to get hard data ('scuse the pun ) when youthful fit pheromones kick in. Fit bodies tend to have a mind of their own.
The question has been studied semi - scientifically. It is difficult to get hard data ('scuse the pun ) when youthful fit pheromones kick in. Fit bodies tend to have a mind of their own.
Body checking
Before the Athens Olympics in 2004 hundreds of athletes vowed not to partake. However many more seemed of the Nike mind set of "just do it ". The athletes made use of 130,000 condoms and 30,000 packets of lubricant.
In the Sydney Olympics participants had a quota of three condoms a day - and still fell short ! Which makes sense when you think of thousands of fit, attractive young people from all over the world crammed together for some excitement. It makes one wonder if that was a reason the original olympics were held in the nude. ( Probably not an option for hockey, although it would make the body checking more interesting. )
The prestigious medical journal "The Physician and Sportsmedicine" once carried out a study to see if athletes have better sex. Their conclusions were that "better" is a subjective term which they found difficult to quantify scientifically, but there was no doubt that athletes have more sex. Why ? Because they can !
In the Sydney Olympics participants had a quota of three condoms a day - and still fell short ! Which makes sense when you think of thousands of fit, attractive young people from all over the world crammed together for some excitement. It makes one wonder if that was a reason the original olympics were held in the nude. ( Probably not an option for hockey, although it would make the body checking more interesting. )
The prestigious medical journal "The Physician and Sportsmedicine" once carried out a study to see if athletes have better sex. Their conclusions were that "better" is a subjective term which they found difficult to quantify scientifically, but there was no doubt that athletes have more sex. Why ? Because they can !
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The testosterone theory
A theoretical scientific basis for sex being good for sports performance is that sex increases testosterone, which increases muscle mass, strength, and overall aggression. Testosterone is also the hormone responsible for libido in both sexes, which leads to more sex, which leads to more testosterone, which leads to more sex, which leads to ....
The subject was reviewed in the "Clinical Journal of Sports Medicine" in 2000, but Dr. Ian Shrier, a sports medicine specialist at McGill. According to Shrier there are two ways that sex before competition could affect performance.
1) It could make you weak and tired the next day.
Fortunately, this has been conclusively disproven.
There is no effect at all on muscle strength, speed, stamina, ability to use
oxygen, or much else. This has been proven in several studies. If you want
some of the details you can find them by clicking on the Journal of Sports,
Medicine, and Physical Fitness.
2) It could affect your psychological state.
This is still under investigation. But most likely, if you think sex will improve
your performance or worsen it, you are probably right. The power of suggestion
could make either come true. So think positive !
The subject was reviewed in the "Clinical Journal of Sports Medicine" in 2000, but Dr. Ian Shrier, a sports medicine specialist at McGill. According to Shrier there are two ways that sex before competition could affect performance.
1) It could make you weak and tired the next day.
Fortunately, this has been conclusively disproven.
There is no effect at all on muscle strength, speed, stamina, ability to use
oxygen, or much else. This has been proven in several studies. If you want
some of the details you can find them by clicking on the Journal of Sports,
Medicine, and Physical Fitness.
2) It could affect your psychological state.
This is still under investigation. But most likely, if you think sex will improve
your performance or worsen it, you are probably right. The power of suggestion
could make either come true. So think positive !
Abstinence ???
Abstaining from intercourse for six weeks prior to the event - such as Mohammed Ali used to do - turns out to be completely the wrong approach. Less sex means less testosterone, and after three months of abstinence an athlete's testosterone levels are almost as low as before puberty. This means that Rocky's theory that "sex weakens the legs " also is delightfully wrong. Although why anyone would accept scientific advice from someone whose job is to get punched in the head is a bit of a mystery to me.
Besides, lovemaking is not that strenuous an activity for most of us. Intercourse between married couples expends only about 25 - 50 calories., or an average of about 4 calories per minute. (I could tell you how long that means it should take, but the mental exercise will be good for you.) So routine married sex takes about the energy it takes to walk up two flights of stairs. (Vigorous entertaining sex between unmarried couples it consumes the energy to run up two flights of stairs - at 100 miles an hour. But that is still only about 250 calories. So sex does not consume that much energy. )
Sex can also release a neuropeptide ( a brain chemical ) called Substance P, which is a pain blocker, and therefore sex can alleviate chronic muscle aches and sports injuries for up to a day at a time. So sex the day before competing can make your old knee injury ache less for the big competition.
Besides, lovemaking is not that strenuous an activity for most of us. Intercourse between married couples expends only about 25 - 50 calories., or an average of about 4 calories per minute. (I could tell you how long that means it should take, but the mental exercise will be good for you.) So routine married sex takes about the energy it takes to walk up two flights of stairs. (Vigorous entertaining sex between unmarried couples it consumes the energy to run up two flights of stairs - at 100 miles an hour. But that is still only about 250 calories. So sex does not consume that much energy. )
Sex can also release a neuropeptide ( a brain chemical ) called Substance P, which is a pain blocker, and therefore sex can alleviate chronic muscle aches and sports injuries for up to a day at a time. So sex the day before competing can make your old knee injury ache less for the big competition.
What the Vancouver Canucks say about sex ...
I haven't explained my theories on sex to any of them, and they haven't asked. But veteran Vancouver Sun health reporter Pamela Fayerman recently interviewed various members of the Vancouver Canuck, about their sexual routine before a playoff game. Her findings can be found at her excellent blog by clicking here.
The results of Pamela's sex survey can roughly be summarized as :
1) the coach doesn't get into it
2) most of the players are too shy to give specifics, and
3) one married player doesn't seem to quite grasp the concept.
It is a pity that the players are so shy - the statistics would make for more interesting analysis than the usual mundane "shots on goal" discussions.
The results of Pamela's sex survey can roughly be summarized as :
1) the coach doesn't get into it
2) most of the players are too shy to give specifics, and
3) one married player doesn't seem to quite grasp the concept.
It is a pity that the players are so shy - the statistics would make for more interesting analysis than the usual mundane "shots on goal" discussions.
And the sexpert's final word is....
Sex expert Babe Ruth, says swing your bat ....
I remain in awe of one of the most famous sports characters and authorities on sex of all time. A legendary athlete and ladies man who really knew how to swing his bat - the immortal George Herman "Babe" Ruth. ( Not to be confused with sexpert "Dr. Ruth". )
When asked his opinion about whether or not an athlete should have pre - game sex the Babe's answer was " Absolutely ! And invite her to the game afterwards too ! "
Truly a response worthy of a champion !
When asked his opinion about whether or not an athlete should have pre - game sex the Babe's answer was " Absolutely ! And invite her to the game afterwards too ! "
Truly a response worthy of a champion !
If hockey and figure skating were merged ...
Click on the picture to see what the result might be !
Also, what could have happened if Toller Cranston took hockey instead of figure skating !
Also, what could have happened if Toller Cranston took hockey instead of figure skating !
What the College of Physicians and Surgeons of B.C. says about hockey. ( Although, why would they say anything ? )
Dr. Oetter does not approve of discussing hockey during surgery
It seems that the B.C. College of Physicians and Surgeons don't even approve of physicians talking about hockey.
B.C. surgeons told to cut the hockey talk in operating room, as reported by Macleans.ca on Monday, April 11, 2011 10:55am -
Surgeons in B.C. have been reminded not to chat about hockey and other unrelated topics while at work in the operating room after a patient complained that a surgeon was bantering about a hockey game with nurses. According to Dr. Heidi Oetter of the province’s College of Physicians and Surgeons, the patient was awake during an eye surgery and worried that the surgeon’s “idle chatter” might lead to a mistake, although the surgery went over fine. As a result, the College issued a “gentle reminder.”
" No talking about hockey during surgery !"
Don't they have more important things to do ? ( Incidentally, in Nov 2013 the College of Physicians and Surgeons also chastised doctors who sing during surgery. The first cut is the deepest .....
B.C. surgeons told to cut the hockey talk in operating room, as reported by Macleans.ca on Monday, April 11, 2011 10:55am -
Surgeons in B.C. have been reminded not to chat about hockey and other unrelated topics while at work in the operating room after a patient complained that a surgeon was bantering about a hockey game with nurses. According to Dr. Heidi Oetter of the province’s College of Physicians and Surgeons, the patient was awake during an eye surgery and worried that the surgeon’s “idle chatter” might lead to a mistake, although the surgery went over fine. As a result, the College issued a “gentle reminder.”
" No talking about hockey during surgery !"
Don't they have more important things to do ? ( Incidentally, in Nov 2013 the College of Physicians and Surgeons also chastised doctors who sing during surgery. The first cut is the deepest .....
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And don't forget safe sex in sport
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Wear protection, and practice safe hockey ....